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Speech

Apologising

An apology is an action, not a word. This is about how you do it.

25 statements, about 4 minutes

What the result will show

Owning it naming exactly what you are sorry for
No "but" whether the apology ends with a «but»
Timing how long you put it off
Making it right offering how to put it right
Not repeating whether the same thing happens again

Start The first statement opens straight away — no sign-in, no email.

1I name exactly what I am sorry for

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

2I apologise vaguely just to end it

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

3I own my part even when I am not the only one at fault

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

4I wait for the other to apologise first

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

5I can say "I was wrong" without resistance

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

6My apologies often end with a "but"

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

7I explain circumstances instead of apologising

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

8I apologise without shifting blame

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

9I say "sorry if that upset you"

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

10I do not demand that my reasons be understood

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

11I apologise the same day

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

12I put off apologising for weeks

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

13I do not wait for a convenient moment

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

14I hope it will just blow over

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

15I apologise even when the person is no longer angry

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

16I offer how to put it right

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

17My apologies change nothing in what I do

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

18I ask what would make it better

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

19I fix consequences, not just feelings

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

20I think an apology is enough by itself

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

21After apologising I try not to repeat it

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

22I apologise for the same thing again and again

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

23I notice I hurt people less often than before

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

24People close to me say nothing changes

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

25I remember what I apologised for last time

Not me at all Rarely me Sometimes Often me That is exactly me

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What this page answers

How I speak in conflict
How well I listen
Directness and softness
Asking for things
Saying no
Apologising
Praise and recognition
How I give criticism
How I take criticism
Silence and pauses